I used to shudder at the thought of spending $50k on a wedding. This was back when I had no idea how you could finance your wedding. And of course, I didn’t know I’d get married in one of the most expensive cities (cough cough New York).
Surely there must be a way to make all my Pinterest wedding dreams come true without spending a dime over $10k, right?
Wrong.
Well, sort of.
Unless the wedding pins on your Pinterest are water-only bar ideas or legitimate micro wedding pins for 15 people (and not those “backyard” weddings of SoCal mansions), your wedding will cost a fortune.
The average cost for a wedding in the US was $29k in 2023. This average spikes up to $44k in New York which is where I got married (note: Manhattan in particular is even higher). And I can attest to this average from personal experience.
Realistic ways to finance your wedding
OK, I know that was depressing. So how do people do it?
Do people have $50k saved for their weddings? Does everyone go into debt to pay for one day of events?
Yes, and no. Here I’ll outline the four main ways you can use to finance your wedding so you can choose the best method(s) for yourself. I am not including a few other options here like wedding loans or using your retirement money because, well, I don’t believe they’re good options.
I personally have used a combination of these methods and recommend them if they are available to you and make sense for you. But I’ll go into detail about this at the end.
For now, let’s jump into the four realistic ways I’ve seen and tried:
1. Saving for your wedding
Although there are many ways to finance your wedding, having a specific wedding savings fund is ideal. And essential.
Most couples contribute some portion of their money to pay for their wedding. So if you don’t have any savings, it’s time to get started. By the way, this should be separate from your emergency fund!
Here’s how to get started:
- Create a wedding budget. Do some research on different wedding expense categories and estimate your total wedding cost. Be realistic here!
- Set a savings goal! The goal amount is how much more you need to save to reach your estimated wedding cost
- Set a timeframe for your wedding and break the savings goal into smaller chunks. For example, if you have a savings goal of $20k as a couple for a wedding 15 months away, you’d have a monthly savings goal of $1,333 ($20k divided by 15). That’s $666 per person per month (or however you choose to split the amount).
- Automate your wedding savings into a high-yield savings account while keeping other costs low
- Regularly check in with your partner on the progress and if anything needs to be tweaked. For example, are there more guests coming than expected? Or did your florist quote you higher than you wanted?
2. Gifts from families
No matter how diligently you save, you will likely find it challenging to save tens of thousands of dollars in a short amount of time.
It’s no surprise that many families in the States and many cultures rely on their families to help with wedding costs. Some couples get their weddings entirely paid for by their parents, or some receive partial monetary gifts.
The important thing to remember about this “method” is communication. No matter what has been said previously, couples should have open conversations with their parents and relatives once the wedding planning begins.
Don’t assume that because your father said 7 years ago, “I will pay for your wedding if you get married!” that he would finance your wedding years later. Or that he’s in the same financial spot.
Find out if parents on either or both sides are willing to contribute to the wedding cost at all and if they’re able to. If the answer’s ‘yes’ to both questions, talk about how much exactly they’d like to contribute.
I know it’s an awkward conversation. But you’ll want the money stuff to be very clear. Approach it with a polite and open attitude, and don’t feel entitled.
Also keep in mind that if someone is helping finance your wedding, they have some say in the planning of it.
Of course, we all want our entire wedding to go exactly how we want it and get it paid for by someone else. But that’s normally not how it works.
So don’t receive $30k from your parents and be shocked if your mom asks to bring her 3 best friends to the wedding.
3. Cash registry or monetary gifts from guests
OK, this one is technically not a way to finance your wedding, but I included it because it frees up couples to focus on their post-wedding payments.
I have seen many couples build a cash registry instead of a traditional registry to help with their honeymoon or other marriage-related costs. This does help substantially with leftover wedding payments.
I have also seen that many guests bring checks or cash as wedding gifts. Although this should never be accounted for when budgeting for a wedding, people’s generosity often helps with the financial burden of paying for a wedding.
Of course, you can’t count on others’ contributions to hold your event, so make sure you can afford the wedding you’re planning!
Do not factor monetary gifts into your wedding budget because, well, then that’s not a gift.
However, if you would appreciate any additional monetary boost, I recommend you put up a cash registry to help you feel less financial damage.
4. Using credit cards to finance your wedding
Oh, credit cards.
I am both excited and hesitant to recommend this method.
I am excited because, well, weddings are very expensive and when else do you get to put that many $$$ onto a card? If you play it right, you can get some serious points back.
But I’m also hesitant because credit cards are a slippery slope. The thing is you still have to be able to afford the wedding you’re putting on.
If you can’t afford to pay $60k in due time, you should not rely on a credit card to finance your wedding.
But if you can afford the wedding and want a little boost, credit cards are a great way to make money to help you feel better about dropping tens of thousands dollars.
If you’re down for this method, I think the two main ways you can use credit cards for your wedding are opening a high introductory bonus card or a 0% introductory card.
Since each serves a different purpose, each requires a slightly different strategy, which I’ll go into.
Opening a high introductory bonus card
If your venue or vendor allows paying through credit cards, I would highly recommend opening a card that gives a high introductory bonus to use towards the venue/vendors.
Search for the highest bonus offer in general unless you are spending a large amount in a certain category like dining or travel.
Opt for a card that gives you a serious introductory bonus in these categories if this is relevant to you.
For example, we got married in a restaurant, so we opted for the AMEX Platinum after my husband found their 10x dining offer through Resy.
This was a ‘holy guacamole’ moment because our venue (which included food and drinks) was 60% of our wedding cost. We opened this card in time for our last venue payment, which was about $15k and received about $2,500 worth in points just from the payment. Not too shabby.
You can use a similar strategy if you can be sure that your venue will count your payment as “Dining” or whichever category you want them to honor (this might require some work). Alternatively, you could search for an attractive intro bonus for the “Travel” category if you are having a destination wedding and are spending a lot on hotels and flights. The key here is to compare and contrast- see if it’s better to just sign up for those 100k bonus points (likely $1k in value) or do some research and cop the $2500.
Opening a 0% introductory APR (annual percentage rate) card
A 0% APR card is a credit card that charges 0% in interest on your transactions during a promotional period after opening your card.
This is a massive advantage compared to using a normal credit card that may charge a 22% interest on the balance you haven’t paid off.
If you qualify for a 0% APR card, you will only need to worry about your actual balance instead of spending extra on paying down the interest debt.
Because you are not penalized for carrying over your monthly balance, you can use this as a “payment plan” to pay off larger balances over time. So instead of spending $12k on a normal credit card and having to pay that off entirely the next month to avoid interest, you could divide the $12k over the promotional period.
If the promotional period is the first 12 months after opening the card, your “payment plan” would be to pay down $1k every month.
The catch with this method is you need to be on your A-game to not let your spending get excessive.
When I used this method for my wedding, I set up an automatic payment of a small amount to pay off minimum balances (you still need to pay the minimum balance). Every time I put additional expenses on the card, I made sure that my total balance was not exceeding an amount I knew I could pay off in a few months.
Note that you don’t have to choose one method over the other. I have used both to my advantage because each served a different purpose.
Key points for using credit card(s) to finance your wedding
I think details on this would require another post, but the main points to remember are:
- Make sure you can afford what you’re spending on your credit card
- Use the high introductory bonus credit card for large transactions like venue payments or hotel bookings
- Use the 0% APR credit card as a payment plan for other expenses. Just make sure you can comfortably pay off the total balance in smaller amounts every month
- As you cry thinking about how much money you spent on your wedding, you will at least smirk knowing you got some dollars back
How you can still have an amazing wedding without bankrupting yourself
I’ve emphasized how costly weddings are because I want people to have realistic expectations.
But don’t lose hope! You can still have an AMAZING wedding without bankrupting yourself and/or going into debt to replicate what you see on social media.
I hope the methods mentioned above for financing your wedding can help you have your vision come to life with some peace of mind.
When I was planning my wedding, I found that my shorter planning time (6 months) and limited budget made it easier to plan.
I don’t know about you, but I suffer from decision paralysis, so the plethora of options within the modern wedding industry overwhelmed me. But when something is literally not an option, you can move on more quickly. Oh, this gorgeous venue of my dreams is $60k just to rent? Thank you, NEXT.
I firmly believe getting your wedding finances in order will free up your energy so you can focus on the things that will bring you joy.
Paying down a venue deposit won’t bring you joy, but finding the perfect wedding dress you can afford will!
So set a budget and find what’s personal and meaningful to you within that budget. I promise you, it will be those personal details that feel like ‘you’ that truly matter.
